My Life - My Challenge

This picture was taken in Los Angeles, by Dennis Trantham, 18 years ago. It was a funny shooting, we laughed a lot.
But that was after having a hard time.
I never wanted to get maried.
I did.
I never wanted children.
I do have children. - A Girl and a Boy.
When I got married, I was on cloud nine. And yes, we wanted children. (Even when I, as a child, never wanted children.)
It took us 7 years of trying - And I gave up.
I started to make my dream come true, beeing an actress.
I was studying in Los Angeles and my life turned upside down. I met some important people and had some amazing opportunities to work on my career. And I did. Coming back to Europe and letting my wish to have children go, something astonishing happend:
It was a very cold winter and I was shooting in Berlin, during very, very cold nights ... And as I came home, I felt some unusual pain in my abdominal. So I went to the doctor. I thought, well maybe I'm having a cold.
And so I was sitting at the doctors waiting room, waiting, waiting. The other women where told by the doctor's assistant: "Everything is ok, you can go home..."  And I thought, she will tell me the same. But she smiled at me and nodded, than she said: "The doctor wants so see you..." Hä?! He wants to see me? Why? ... everything was going wild in my head. What's wrong with me? Why can't the doctor's assistant tell me the same, she told the other women?! ... And so I waited again, and there where some really scary things coming up in my mind.
Than finally sitting infront of the doctor, he looked at the papers and than he smired at me: "Gratulation! You are pregnant!"
"HÄ?!" I didn't understand. PREGNANT ?! HE was the one telling me 7 years that I'm not able to get pregnant. Is he having one of his funny days?
He looked at me: " You are not glad about having a baby?!"
Glad, - Happy, - Whatever. - I was confused !
That was it. I was pregnant, - and there was not this Happy Feeling - like in that romantic movies "Uchuh! I'm pragnant! Yeah! "
I was very down to earth.
Before I entered this surgery I had a plan, I was working on my career, and right at that time I was very lucky doing the things I did.
But now, everything changed. And there was another challenge growing up inside my body.
Lucky me, that I had no clue at that time.
Now, my girl soon will celebrate her 17th Birthday. She and her brother where my biggest Challenge in my Life. And I LoVe them, and tell them every day. Even if they sometimes pull my triggers and drive me nuts. The deepest LoVe I ever felt, was to hold this little human beeings in my arms, never forgetting the first time our eyes met, that's pure magic ! And I'm thankful, that somehow my career's having two peaks ;)